Good win with a bare eleven

On a sunny Saturday morning that seemed to promise more excitement than your average paint-drying session, SV took on Herne Bay in a clash that would be talked about for minutes to come. Despite SV's bench looking as empty as a promise of "just one more episode" on a Netflix binge, they ran circles around Herne Bay, chalking up a victory so lopsided it looked like Herne Bay players were under the impression that lower scores get the gold.
Lewis Mitchell, channelling his inner Andy Turnill (the hockey playing part and not the eloping skier) started knocking out goals for fun. Alexander Stamp, not to be outdone, netted the ball from an SV rarity of what was a well-worked short corner, who also took one for the team and allowed the umpires to use up their carding desire on himself by taking a green to seal the first half. 3-0 SV.
The halftime talk for SV was as sombre as a funeral for a goldfish, clearly pondering the meaning of life or maybe just how long they’d be left waiting outside the Queen’s before opening. Angus McVarish, feeling a bit left out, started off the second half by adding one to the tally, a personal tally that is very low in number and very high in attempted effort.
As for Herne Bay's goalkeeper, he had the ability of a 10th generation ninja but the verbal skills of a misplaced bouncer at a nightclub. Yet, amidst the chaos, both umpires kept their cool better than a cucumber in a freezer. Being a seaside town you would think Herne Bay would be used to having salt in their wounds but to be sure, Lewis Mitchell added himself a hat-trick and Alexander Stamp proved it really was a bad stick and rocketed one in from the edge of the D, ensuring the game ended with a scoreline of 6-0, making SV wonder if they really needed substitutes, or just a bigger trophy cabinet.

Goals: Lewis Mitchell (3); Alex Stamp (2); Angus McVarish.

Team: Stewart Young; Russell Blanchard; Chris Back; Angus McVarish; Dan Brooks; Chris Johnson; Clayton Pohio; Fred McVarish; Jack Davies; Alexander Stamp; Lewis Mitchell.

Match report by Alex Stamp.

Next week the 1st Xl are away against Old Williamsonian 3rd Xl at 15:00.