1st Xl's Riot in Rochester

With an ever-increasing number of attendees, the men of Valence were well prepared for a top of the table clash on a balmy afternoon in the god-forsaken dreariness of Rochester.
The game began full steam ahead and after some early jousting the Village people were caught on the back foot with a well-executed goal from the home side. The game was played in a predictably poor spirit with some choice vocabulary from the limited words available in this part of Kent.
The visitors continued to rise to the challenge and refused to be overrun. With fancy passes off the side and acrobatic goal line saves from the Old Boys brigade at the back, more Three fivers than tenors but equally adept at hitting the high notes of goal line clearances....bravo Young, Bray and Blanchard. Still in it...the Chairman felt compelled to do his bit for Age Concern and like Corbyn and Johnson in the Great Debate wouldn’t give it up without seeing if he was keeping Dianne Abbott in his pocket, but alas he did hold a green.
Buoyed by the arrival of Wilcher, who takes longer to prepare for battle than Caitlyn Jenner did for transition, the village began to get the ball out of their own 23.
Once again the Angel from the Heath was on hand to step in with a backhand swing finish. This time at least 6 inches off the line. 1-1.
The longest half of hockey drew to a close and the home ump went in for a Horlicks to be replaced by the smiling whistler who had his own cards and agenda. Puppy dog eyes McVarish now on a very tight leash.
A net buster from the home team broke the deadlock. There were some rousing words and some incandescent screeching from the bench, not from Valence but from some big fella buttering white bread crusts. The home team were feeling the heat.
Village heads were cool. Hop-a-long McVarish playing in his own bubble tripped and fumbled the ball up towards the oppo danger zone and so entranced with the footwork they had witnessed Wills gift wrapped a penalty corner which was signed sealed and delivered by Sutton Valence’s very own Postman. “Never in doubt” Turnill scored the goal that closed the game out as a 2-2 victory.
Smiles all round topped off by the white bread teas served with the famous Old Will’s grimace. An enjoyable afternoon.
Sutton Valence look forward to doing battle with last season’s nemesis, New Beccs, back on home turf next week.

MoM: Andy Turnill
Goals: Brett Angel, Andy Turnill
DoD: Lewis Mitchell

Team: Stewart Young, Russell Blanchard, Rob Bray, Tim Wilcher, Louis Robinson, Angus McVarish, Jack Davies, Fred McVarish, Lewis Mitchel, Brett Angel, Marius Dreyer, Andy Turnill, Kevin Kirkham.
Umpire: Chris Johnson

Match Report by Russell Blanchard.

Next week the 1st Xl play New Beccehamians 1st Xl at home.