1st X1 lose to League winners

Sutton Valence 1's welcomed top of the table Old Willies to the prep school skid pan. There were elbow pumps all round as the village were buoyed by the return of their Alpine brethren as well as the training PC and Stanford, the defensive General.
With a vigorous warm up behind us and some playground dynamics the home team began with a well assured passing game causing the visitors to question their lofty position in the League and thoughts of a smash and grab victory were deserting them.
Much to everyone’s surprise, and completely against the run of play, Old wills opened the scoring with a back stick chipped finish the likes of which haven't been seen since the final round on the Old Course. The Young keeper left stranded like a flatulent seal.
There was a Braying cry and the team rallied...spurred on by McVarish and Mitchell’s midfield effervescence the pressure mounted and the home side equalised. Not satisfied and with a consistent determination sparked by our SpringBok friend and his timeless strike partner the Village were awarded a penalty flick much to the Umpire’s delight. Our special K was up to the task and we led the now bickering opposition.
As thoughts turned to half time rub downs and meticulous hand washing the aging Artful Dodger stepped up and much to everyone’s displeasure struck a rising shot into the wall they call the Skipper. Unfortunately, it appears the wall needs repointing and the shot squeezed through with a Stampy like rattle off the backboard.
Into the break at 2-2.
Wise words at the interval, extended by the need for our eminent umpires to inspect the new portable facilities necessitated by the cold wind and their enlarging prostates, provided the home team with an enthusiastic start.
Unfortunately, the Rochester boys moved closer to winning the game and the League as the home team gave up a couple of swift goals. Well-rehearsed short corner routines frustratingly produced the goals, one unstoppable flick rung out like a death knell clipping the cross bar as it sailed into the roof of the net. Thankfully one such short corner narrowly missed the returning sweepers crown jewels.
This was not a time for admiration it was the time to press on. An amazingly unfit but relentless Alex Stamp was unrecognisable in his effort and commitment and some could be heard questioning whether his new found energy didn't in some way reflect the new happiness he has found in his home life which he pretty much won’t stop talking about!
They were rewarded for keeping their chins up with a converted short corner, simple.
4-3 still a chance?
True to form this fixture is often bad tempered and whiney with a few tantrums thrown in and always accompanied with some very choice if inarticulate language. So it was to be, there were yellow cards and green cards but the Wills continued in the unenjoyable ascendancy. Even the sight of the Old man at the back relieving himself of some nose claret couldn't put the North Kent lads off their unpleasant gait.
Two more goals came for the oppo... they even inflicted some gentle bruising to our overtrained newest member of the Constabulary.
6-3 did not reflect the game. Sutton Valence were more than a match for the newly anointed League winners.
Onwards and upwards, Sutton Valence 1's out of self-isolation and move on to meet their nemesis, New Beccs 1's in Sunny South London next weekend where a win should see them secure 3rd place in the League.

Goals: Kirkham (2), Stanford

MoM: Rob Bray
DoD: Ryan Robinson

Team: Stewart Young, Russ Blanchard, Rob Bray, Ryan Robinson, James Stanford, Jack Davies, Fred McVarish, Lewis Mitchell, Alex Stamp, Kevin Kirkham, Marius Dreyer, Reuben Collingwood.
Umpire: Andrew Wishart

Match Report by Russell Blanchard.

Next week the 1st Xl are away against New Beccehamians 1st Xl, who are currently 8th in the League, but against whom they unexpectedly lost 1 : 4 at home in November.