In the penultimate game of the season, which was originally due to have been played in Rochester at 16:00, Valence welcomed Old Williamsonians to the senior Astro instead at 09:45 removing problems for the home team to get to their end of season dinner.
Going into the match 1st and 2nd and having beaten them 5-1 in the earlier game, Valence went in with confidence having a strong side albeit missing young Mr Willson, who’s trousers for the day had been chosen for him, and his list of jobs was so long it looked like a list of Rob Cockayne’s misses. They also had their player coach, young Wills, on the side-line, who managed substitutions perfectly.

Valence started the match slowly but after 10 mins of mis-passes, mis-tackles and generally poor play, they got on with playing their game, and when Valence put their mind to it, they were by far the better side. Unfortunately, by this time they were already 0-1 down, through good play via Old W’s young no7. After realising he was their danger man, Valence decided to pay special attention to him, which completely changed their ability to play as they would have liked.

Valence started to get their passes working well, from back through the midfield to the forwards. Jack Sheldon on the left and Duncan Field on the right, were finding plenty of space to supply the forwards, with the first meaningful attack down the right finding Rob Cockayne, looking for his half century of goals this season, in his usual place on the goal line. In one of Cockayne’s trademarked “it’s-easier-to-score-than-miss” misses, he managed to put the ball so high of the goal, it ended up in one of the fir trees, disrupting a family of Wrens who were just feeding their chicks. Messieurs Hall, Gander and Abrahams could be heard from the back, in unison, shouting “f’ing Cockayne, he’s missed ANOTHER one”. And young Mr Wills could be seen shaking his head in disbelief from the side-lines. Even the umpires had a time-out to discuss if that miss was worthy of a green card.

Luckily for Valence, this lack of prowess didn’t last long, and quickly Cockayne got on the end of a good layoff from Chris Sheldon (yes, forwards are allowed to pass, Rob) to get the score pack to parity. This was a really good team (and family!) goal, starting with Ollie releasing Jack down the right who, after beating his man, found Chris Sheldon on the edge of the D, who dribbled into the D and then released to Cockayne.

Now the play was all Valence. The defence had No7 in their pocket, and all other attacks were being cut out, and the midfield were controlling play. Aided in part by Charlie Tucker, who was celebrating his birthday today and as a treat was playing in centre midfield. He looked well suited to the role, with powerful runs forward, some good passing and good link-up play. But, and there’s always a but, Charlie has been watching lots of ballet recently. And one of the moves he’s mastered is pirouetting, but what he hadn’t realised was how dizzy you get after doing it so much.

Luckily, despite a lot of pirouetting, the midfield of Hodges, Tragett and Tucker were in fine form. The latter especially was breaking forward well. One of these runs saw him find Sheldon senior in the D, who unleashed fury on the ball. Luckily for the keeper, he got in the way and made a fine save, but unluckily for him, it bounced up to a prowling Cockayne, who buoyed by the fact he knew he was about to win all the club trophies that night, even ladies’ player of the year, was on hand to volley the ball into the back of the net to make the score 2-1.

Valence continued to dominate, but frustratingly, towards the end of the first half, Captain Marvel got what he thought was a good block on an OW shot. Unfortunately it wasn’t a good block as the deflection helped take it past a helpless Young in the goal. Half time game at 2-2, and the words were pretty much carry on as they were but tighten up passing, especially from 16s.

The second half started with some confusion, when Gander, Club Defender of the Year no less, declared he would man mark No7. They all looked round to find No7 wasn’t actually on the pitch. So in fine military fashion, Captain Hall uttered the immortal phrase “as you were” and Valence went back to zonal marking. Once the confusion had subsided, Valence carried on in the same vein, dominating play all around the park - the defence were on top of their opposing attackers, the halves were finding acres of space on both flanks and the central midfield were controlling the game. And Cockayne wasn’t missing his usual quota. Tucker continued to burst forward at will, with one of these runs seeing him dribble behind the goalkeeper, dribbling the ball all the way along the goal line, past the goal, past the short corner mark and out for an OW side-line ball. If you hadn’t seen the start of the dribble, one would have assumed it was another Cockayne miss, but surprisingly it wasn’t.

The third goal came through one of these runs, finding Cockayne in the D, who made a strong pass (one assumes it was a mis-cued shot) to Chris Sheldon, who made it 3-2 to Valence. Quickly after this, Tucker broke free and found himself on the top of the D. Given it was his birthday, defence agreed to let him through unchallenged as he drove into the D. Tucker hit a shot like Valence have never seen before, which looked remarkably like something you’d see in a 1s game. No goal line technology review needed here, 4-2.

Feeling even more chirpy than normal, given he’d earlier scored his 50th goal of the season, Cockayne decided to try one of his patented one-handed reverse stick shots. There was another gasp from Abrahams at the back, who had all too often seen these bobble onto Cockayne’s feet. To everyone’s surprise, even Cockayne’s, it actually flew into the back of the net. 5-2.

Now the tricky part. Valence were playing exceptionally well, but Old Wills aren’t Division champions for nothing, and they weren’t about to the let the village idiots do the double over them. No7 was back on the pitch, trying to control the game, and they started winning short corners. One of these managed to sneak a shot through the keeper’s pads to end up in the goal. 5-3.

Valence continued to play well, strong all-round the park, but OW were determined to get back into the game, and continued to push forward, finding space on the right for their forward to hit a shot low and hard into the far bottom corner. 5-4 with minutes to go.

Valence were determined to see this out and OW were determined to get the equaliser so was attack versus defence for large parts of the final minutes, but the defence were holding strong, with exceptional marking across the park, especially from effervescent sweeper, Tragett, who covered huge distances keeping track of their attacking midfielders.

Valence held on for a thoroughly deserved win and double against the Division champions. This wasn’t their best performance of the season, but certainly was up there. Everyone played very well, but for his powerful runs and dogged defending at times, Jack Sheldon just shaded it.

It was a really good game, played in very good spirit by two very good teams. Special thanks go to Old Wills, who agreed to switch home/away to aid Valence in their evening festivities.

One final game to go against Sevenoaks on 15th April. Valence have already ordered a crate of “man up” to be delivered to the away game in advance of the game.

Goals: Rob Cockayne (3); Chris Sheldon; Charlie Tucker

Team: Stewart Young; Nick Hall; Rob Cockayne; Adrian Gander; Duncan Field; Chris Sheldon; Jack Sheldon; Olly Sheldon; Ben Tragett; James Abrahams; Alastair Robinson; Alex Hodges; Duncan Wills; Charlie Tucker.
Umpires: Iain Simmons; Brett Angel.

Match report by Nick Hall.

On Saturday the 15th April the 2nd Xl complete their season at home with their rearranged abandoned game from 4th February against Sevenoaks 8th Xl. Valence currently lie in second position in their Division, but could be overtaken if they lose or draw this game and Holcombe Harriers win theirs.