Valence welcomed Sevenoaks 8ths to fortress SVS, knowing a win would guarantee them 2nd place and promotion, irrespective of the result over in Medway.

Given the overnight weather, there had been a lot of concerns amongst the Valence players that they might get 15mins in and the opposition might “not fancy it” again. Luckily, the ‘Oaks players had consumed their “Man-up” potions before they left home, and had also made sure they were suitably padded up.

For the last game of the season, Valence captain, Hall, set the team up with one thing on their minds, well two - promotion and revenge.

There was a slight delay to the match, as (generally agreed amongst the home side), the keeper was taking “f-ing ages” to pad up. But finally the game did start, but if the captain’s wife is reading this, a lot later than that reality!

‘Oaks started the better of the two sides, looking very strong in the middle of the park, but Messieurs Willson and Tragett were allowing their men to keep the ball to find out what they were made of. It was very clear from early on that apart from 2-3 in the middle, not a great deal. 10 minutes into the game, and the Valence midfield had taken control of the game, and Valence were clearly on top. There were some balls put through to the Sevenoaks forwards, but everything was cut out decisively by the Valence backline, with Gander rolling back the years.

Going forward, Valence were a threat down both flanks and through the middle, leading to star of the day, Hodges bagging himself a good first goal, with a satisfying nutmeg to boot.
1-0 half time, and the talk was around continuing as they were, increasing the intensity and increasing the goal count.

The game continued in the same vein, with Valence clearly on top, but ‘Oaks having some good breaks. One of these breaks resulted in the Oaks player blatantly kicking the ball. Well blatant to everyone except the two umpires apparently. And as Valence had the ball, everyone was playing on. Well everyone except a Valence defender (who’s name won’t be mentioned for legal reasons), who nonchalantly passed the ball across the D to where he thought the hit would be taken. Nope, there was no hit. But there was pretty much an open goal for Oaks to finish into, despite Young’s best attempts to cover it. A tirade of swearing from said defender later, and score was 1-1.

Valence continued in the ascendancy, having the better of the play and some good attacks. Finally, late in the second half, Mitchell made a strong run down the right to put the ball into Hodges who was running into the D, beating a few men, some twice before slotting past the keeper.

2-1 with 15 minutes to go. Well, this was the actually score but there was some confusion amongst a couple of players. In one camp, Mitchell was comfortable in his own mind that we were 4-2 up, and in another, Mr Willson Jr was screaming at anyone that wanted to listen that we needed to push forward to score a 2nd. Age and senility catches up with us all at different times.

Valence saw out the match well, despite a near late yellow for the best on pitch umpire we have. Luckily the umpires were in the party spirit too, and kept Mr Willson on the pitch.

Match finished 2-1 and Valence now knew they had finished 2nd and secured promotion, irrespective of what happened later.

After the obligatory fist pumps/high fives/handshakes and hugs were over, both sides set off for the real reason we all turned up - best food in Kent @ The Queens Head pub.

But wait, there was a late twist to proceedings. There was no electricity, so there was no Sausage, Beans and Chips. Shock horror. But on a positive, there was plenty of Goachers waiting to be drunk. And both sides dutifully obliged. After most players were deciding on the group alibis as to why they might not make it back home sober, the lights came on and the ovens whirred back into life. 20 minutes or 2 jugs later, they were all relieved to see food starting to appear. And the world was a better place again.

It was a great end to a great season - everyone came back for teas, and was a good party atmosphere amongst both sides.

Thanks to both umpires, and good luck to Sevenoaks next season, as Valence 2s look forward to life in the Division above.

Goals: Alex Hodges (2)

MOTM: Alex Hodges

Team: Stewart Young (GK); Charlie Tucker; Olly Sheldon; Adrian Gander; Alex Hodges; Alastair Robinson; Lewis Mitchell; Ben Tragett; Tom Willson; Chris Sheldon; Duncan Field; Nick Hall (c); Jack Sheldon; James Abrahams.
Umpires: Ryan Robinson and John Edmed

Match report by Nick Hall.