With their satchels packed and pencils sharpened the Village travelled to a Herne Bay housing estate to take on the students of Kent.
Greeted by the smell of stale lager and the sounds of a poor school disco Sutton Valence’s premier team considered the afternoon with a nonchalant warm up and a wry smile. It was a long way to come to challenge the League leaders if they weren’t going to give it their all, and that’s what they did.
The home team, full of skills, speed, mouth and no trousers were keen to impose themselves and preen their egos with a baying crowd of 5 looking on, but found a resilient and determined Sutton Valence; a collection of grumpy old men (except the young Sheldon) standing up to the cocky young upstarts. There were tireless performances all over the pitch. Whitmill was spectacular, Parker flew in to tackles in a manner not seen since the early 80’s, so much so his Beanie hat was nearly dislodged. Turnill slid and tumbled and Back was immovable. The metronomic Tragett and midfield mastery of Barr were tireless.
Sutton Valence were not for moving, and how the young boys whined! There were casualties in the fight. Willson and Johnson succumbed to the injuries of those graduating from the University of Life. The groin and the hamstring are no respecter of ability and these two stalwarts had played their part. The old man on the left educated the young upstarts with some choice words. The SSS of Sheldon, Stille and Sheldon worked tirelessly and watched on as Kirkham rolled back the years, displaying pirouettes and rotations more often produced by an off-balance Simone Biles. The score is secondary to the effort, but for those who want the facts: Sutton Valence held them to 0-0 and the deadlock was only broken by a penalty flick. At 2-1, courtesy of Kirkham there was a sniff, but after a couple of penalty corners and a severe lashing from a young lady Arwen, the score ended up 5-1. The Uni-boys knew they had been in a game and for that the boys of the Village should be proud. They retain their second position in the League.
There was no Match tea, not even a bag of crisps or some baked beans on toast.

Goals: Kevin Kirkham.

MoM: Steve Parker.

Team: Mark Whitmill, Ben Tragett, Chris Stille, Jack Sheldon, Chris Johnson, Steve Parker, Andy Barr, Chris Sheldon, Russell Blanchard, Chris Back, Richard Turnill, Tom Willson & Kevin Kirkham.
Umpires: University of Kent provided both.

Next week Sutton Valence’s finest will face Marden 3’s at home on the Prep School Astro at 09.45.

Match Report by Russell Blanchard.